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Episode 1.3 “Mom, I’m afraid of the light”

Moment of Honesty: I am usually scared before every shoot. Literally terrified before I pick up a camera to go to work. I’ve been shooting video for 12 years now, been doing photography for 8 and man I still get butterflies when I pick up that camera to create something, anything.

Being behind the camera can be tough: from organizing and pre-visualizing lighting, location, looks, while posing and making a comfortable environment for the talent and the team.

A lot could go wrong (and most times something planned will not work out): a light could refuse to work, calculations could be off, weather, uncooperative talent, bad makeup, bad costume; late client, bad or distracting light. So much goes into creating a successful batch of images that it’s easy for a little doubt to slip in.

Am I really ready for this? What did I forget? Do I even grasp what I’ll be trying to do? Did I leave on the iron or the stove? I wonder if in a pinch one could cook on a heating iron: steamed veggies hmmm

The long and short is I worry because I care. If things go wrong it’s my fault, If things go right it’s the teams fault.. Couple that with a client who could be spending a small fortune for you to shed your light on their vision, yeah it can be heavy.

Does that mean I don’t love picking up the camera? Heck no, I wouldn't be happy without being able to create art and that's my instrument of choice. If you’re an artist and you’re not anxious, scared or a little bit nervous just before you have to go on stage, paint in front of an audience, capture moments, maybe you are one of the few who has evolved beyond that point.

For the rest of us, I think if you are scared it could be because you care a lot, and that's a good thing.

Mom, I’m afraid of the light but I’m still gonna walk into it.



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